Saturday, February 25, 2006


Funny thing, even the word "suit" has a series of connotations that I can't totally explain. I used to use it a lot in articles to refer to business-types (often the enemy of geek-types, BTW). That is, until I realized one day, recently, that I had become a "suit".

And even more to the point, enjoyed wearing them.

But why, I had to ask myself, do I enjoy suits? I mean, I didn't used to like the damn things. They were a serious pain to wear -- and I'm kind of a rough and tumble guy in real life (honest). Yet, here I was, enjoying something that by my own admission, is kind of bland when you look at it.

Then it struck me last week, after I was trying on a nice suit in a department store -- I realized why, suddenly, I liked them.

They're one of the few things about masculine culture that doesn't make me wretch, or want to hide under a rock. I mean, I simply get embarrassed watching James Bond movies -- it's not that I don't like the action -- it's the stupid phony reaction shots from the female-models-posed-as-secret-agents. The stupid setups where James Bond has some really cool gadget -- they're playing on the juvenile testosterone responses of the typical male 14-year-old mindset -- and it bugs me.

Sports bugs me for similar reasons. Watch a football game, and who's getting paid the most? (Answer -- the jock-strap wearing loons damaging their bodies in the name of the game). Who's getting paid far less to wear far less, do far less and act far stupider? (Answer -- the cheerleaders). It reinforces the male "bread winner while the wife watches" stereotype. Odd, you never much get to see interviews where they highlight this or that cheerleader on their cheering prowess. It doesn't seem quite as important as the dude that broke his leg on that last touchdown run, or the guy that turned the direction of the game for the winning team.

That's because there's another game altogether going on here: It's called gender discrimination.

Think I'm some kind of militant feminist? Guess the fuck what, I'm not -- I'm a militant masculinist (there's a word not in the dictionary) -- I want to advance the general perception of masculinity as something that I can identify with and not feel like I'm out of place because my arms aren't dragging on the floor whilst I walk.

I'd simply like to see something going on in society that reinforces intelligence over this inherent stupidity. Monster garage is far more challenging, so maybe something will give here someday -- but I'm not holding my breath.

Actually, lots of intellectual coolness goes on every day on the tube, it's just that the most popular crap reinforces the things I hate, so really I'm just whining about that.

Back to the suits.

I like them because they're one of the few things masculine that I can identify with without shame.

And there's a (very small) amount of room for some creativity -- color, fit coordination and so on. It's kind of sad (that aspect). I was trolling the discount racks at another store in the mall, and found this display. "What's in style" read this huge sign, and it points to the lack of pleats on the pants, the "side vents" on the jacket and some other completely lame feature that I seriously could give a rats ass about, no self-respecting person would honestly care about -- except some weird "suit Nazi", which I'm sure exists somewhere, yet I haven't met.

So maybe there is some silly stuff about them, but hey, I'm willing to have fun with it, regardless.

Fun. Suits?


Yeah, Fun! Cheers!


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