Thursday, October 17, 2013

Tea Party legislators to enter Combine Demolition Derby

Fresh off the heels of their recent stunt to shut down the world economy, trash the US recovery and play roulette with the government, Congress has staged their next event: Entering the first annual US Congressional Combine Demolition Derby.
Members of congress that comprise the Tea party coalition were quick to explain their reasoning. "Look, there's nothing like slamming some heavy metal together to de-stress after pulling billions of dollars out of the US economy."  Quipped Senator Ted Cruz, who will be judging the event.  "Plus, it's frickin' AWESOME." 

Congressman John Boehner was more descriptive: "Look, you get an adrenalin rush, playing chicken with large heavy objects that are normally meant to be constructive in nature -- there's nothing like it.   The closest we can come to the experience is combine demolition derby."  Sources familiar with his district claim he's chosen a bright orange Allis-Chalmers model, to best match his pallor. 

Others were quick to criticize the action.  "This is a blatant waste of tax payer dollars" quipped house minority leader Nancy Pelosi.  "Although it's obviously cheaper than watching them tank the economy, this is no excuse."

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