The Hidden and Killer Tesla Feature that Any Car Maker Could Copy

As I write this, I'm about to acquire my second Tesla. The media seems to love Tesla and Elon Musk -- they talk a great game about their electric cars at every turn. This amazes me! All that press for a company that lacks a PR department? It's almost as if trying to influence public perception is a waste of time if your products suck... And indeed that's a big part of Tesla's mojo. Make a car that no one else is making with killer features and don't bother to tell anyone -- the buying public will find the features and then make a million YouTube/Twitter/Instagram posts about it themselves.

That's not the only important part of Tesla' mojo. In my not so humble opinion, a bigger part of the equation is the buying experience. Those of us that have been through it with Tesla can attest to this -- it's not like any traditional experience at any typical American car dealer. I suspect strongly that Ford knows this and it's very likely the biggest reason behind Ford recently splitting into two distinct companies. One will be the traditional ICE dealer, selling your traditional gas and hybrid cars. The other will be "Model E" -- selling electric cars. I suspect that this new "Model E" company will break every NADA rule on the books today against selling vehicles directly to the public.

See, that's the problem with the traditional American car dealer -- Ford really doesn't have any control over them. Dealers get to mark things up, treat customers like dog shit, and make the buying experience into a veritable crap shoot. It's so bad, some people would literally rather have root canal than buy a new car at a dealership. For real, that's actually a survey result...

Back to my Tesla buying experience. I'm going to cover it in grueling detail here:

1. Ordered the car on-line,
2. Went to the dealership when the car was ready,
3. Filled out the paperwork, and
4. 15 minutes later, drove off in the car.

I know what a lot of you are thinking: this is too simplified. Had to be harder than that? Nope -- that was it. No bullshit about the price, lemme talk to my manager, try and sell you floor mats, haggling, attempts to sell extended warranty -- none of that crap. Just as described. My only complaint was that the kid (sorry man -- not sure his age, probably about 25) who handed the "keys" over to us took a grand total of about 5 minutes to show us the interior of the car before we took off in what was basically a space age replacement to the prior car we had just turned in off of its lease at Ford.

Yeah, we could have used a bit more instruction, is all I'm saying. Pretty minor complaint, actually. Overall, I give Tesla 5 out of 5 anyway, because compared to every other experience buying a new car in an American car dealership, this was as painless as it gets.

There are a few things going on here. For starters, Electric cars have far fewer moving parts. They're not going to wear out like traditional ICE cars. Disclaimer: In the past I've been on record saying that BMW will figure out how to make an unreliable electric car. I stand by those words, and add that Cadillac will find a way to be as much like BMW as they can be in this regard. Tesla cars will last hundreds of thousands of miles without any of the traditional break points at a dealer. Things like transmission fluid changes, brake jobs, oil changes and so on -- they're simply not part of the equation. Since 60 to 80 percent of a traditional car dealer's income is tied to this kind of "service", most car dealers are going to have to find a way to adapt to a completely different profit model.

And at the core of my argument here: this profit model helps fuel a lot of this buying insanity. Something has to foot the bill for all the conman staff on hand at these places. Part of it is the dealership placement in the buying stream, part of it is the horrible service problems with traditional cars.

This is the real core of the problem. It's not the charging station stuff -- everyone else will build charging infrastructure at incredible speed in attempts to catch up with Tesla. We're going to see that happen in the next couple of years. In 2026 I'm betting you won't even hear people talking about a lack of charging infrastructure. There will be some grid issues that will be solved along the way. We're going to need some powerwalls installed for example. But the real elephant in the room is still going to be there for all of the traditional (read: not Tesla) auto maker sales people -- and more importantly, their crappy sales culture -- to deal with.

The Buying Experience -- The Elephant in the Room

The traditional American car buying experience sucks. As my friend Scott is fond of saying, it "sucks martian canal water". It's not only bad, it's so baked into the DNA of most auto dealers and salesman that I'm betting it's going to take a really long time to die. Possibly going to be with us through 2100 -- yeah, that bad. These people are going to be passing their bad sales habits to their kids and grand-kids long after it's no longer relevant and profitable. I know this is cynical and I can't help it, I simply can't ignore the inertia of these teams of Dealer Morons.

And the reason that this elephant grew so big in the first place is that the American dealer network was given a cemented position in the buying experience long ago. I understand why this was granted by the way. For an example, way back in time, like over 100 years ago, Henry Ford decided to force all of his dealers to pre-purchase some model Ts or lose their dealer license. He took the money and built a factory. He was going to get the loan from a bank from what I remember, but why do that when you can effectively hold up your dealers for a zero interest loan instead? Back in the day, automakers apparently owned some of the dealers so there was a need to effectively dealer unionize, and that's what happened. Every state got these laws passed and here we are.

So how has Tesla gotten away with skirting the laws on the books to prevent them from selling direct to consumer? By basically ignoring the laws on the books and doing it their way anyway. I am a bit conflicted here, as I clearly understand why these laws exist. The irony is that they exist in the name of protecting the consumer and creating a healthy dealership network. Over time the artificial barrier created between the consumer and the manufacturer have unfortunately created serious opportunities for abuse.

That abuse needs to die. It's well on its way as I write this: Tesla is definitely blazing this trail, but when Ford starts doing it I suspect there will be very large and noticeable nails in the crappy sales conman coffin. We're long overdue for this buying experience change. Why can't you just go on-line and dial in the car you want to buy? Why can't that price you see there on the web site be the price you pay when you pick up your ride? Why does anyone need to sit between the screen you're ordering from and the keys to the car you just ordered?

In the meantime, any vendor that cannot assimilate this new experience is at a disadvantage to Tesla. Word of mouth about this experience will continue to be a thing that spreads beyond any amount of press / hype and dealer flier advertising.

Turning the Tesla Killer into the Killer Tesla

The crazy thing to me is that the formula is pretty simple: Just offer a product at a known price without a bunch of bullshit. The traditional auto manufacturers could make this a huge priority right now and make the world a better place -- but that would involve removing a ton of dealership tricks. These "tricks" are the true focal point of what I'm talking about here. Like never talking about the retail price of the product, and instead focusing upon monthly payments. Hiding the cost of the interest or lease rates. Selling useless add-ons -- especially extended warranties. All this shit needs to die. Yesterday.

This stuff doesn't just turn people off, it turns them away. In the near future, it's going to turn them to Tesla.

This is a huge "hidden feature" of the Tesla experience. The thing that amazes me is how silent the media has been in contrast to all of the stupid "Tesla Killer" articles, for example. I suspect that a lot of people can't even imagine a different world where all cars are sold this way -- but mark my words, it's happening right now before your very eyes.

The main complaint I have is that the words "Tesla Killer" are being used far too frequently in article headlines.
Clearly those words need to be reversed.