Monday, January 16, 2006

Startling Revelation: "I am Male"

Ok, so it's a sarcastic piece of work. Irreverent, even. Basically, continued commentary on something kind of funny that recently happened to me.

Remember the speech (if you're a nice guy, that is) as a kid you used to get from really wild girls that didn't want to go out with you because they wanted a "real man"? The "you're too nice a guy" speech?

Well, there's an inverse one, I guess. This one I just recently got was essentially "You're married, and I can't hang out with you." Kind of funny and sad at the same time -- this was an acquaintance that I met at work a while back (a couple of years ago) and thought had some spiritual similarities -- maybe they would make a good friend. I suspect if I were a single male or a female, there would be no issues.

At the time, I was kind of busy, but after the recent stuff that happened to me, I started looking up friends (male and female) to stay in touch. Possibly, make some new friends that would help me get a broader perspective on myself and the world around me.

Anyway, the thought process kicked of a silly series -- the "I have a penis" thing, kind of made its way to the top of my consciousness. I suspect I'm going to be using it more and more as a way of driving home some of the silliness you have to put up with if you're a guy that cares in our society.

Yes, I'm male -- "I have a penis" -- let's get over it. That's the general point here. Essentially, it would be nice if there were a way to remove sex, in other words, from the under-tones of normal social operations. I can't say that I am an innocent bystander here -- I joke a lot about stuff and sex is often part of the running gag.

Anyway, in the series of thoughts, I thought about what I might have said to this prior acquaintance to diffuse the future problem that would present itself (essentially, me backing off, not wanting to make anyone uncomfortable, and at the same time thinking "probably not the deepest spiritual contact, after all", at the same time ;). My guess, in other words, is that this disclaimer (joke) thing is completely unusable.

But, it's still funny.

WARNING: Contains graphic sexual connotations -- please don't get your panties in a bunch if you're the type to be offended by the words "Penis", "Farm Animals" or references to inanely stupid guy movies, all in the same place. Without further ado, click on the following to read my DISCLAIMER: I HAVE A PENIS.


1 comment:

r_a_trip said...

Thank you for sharing this marvelous piece.

Funny, very true and a good laugh (albeit with some reservation because it is so very true).